Hey there! It’s been awhile. As the title states in Terk from Disney‘s Tarzan style, I’m BACK!
I had to step away due to moving, then the week of Briden’s first birthday I found out I was pregnant.
What an experience that was. I was sick and depressed the whole time. It was weird, like how can I continue on with life to this extent? I was so sick and scared so I spent most my energy surviving and creating a single doll that was ordered before my pregnancy. ❤️ So much Iove sent to that momma for her patience with me! I went well past my tat! And that’s how many of you found me!
I had a beautiful rainbow baby Dec 27th, but to be honest my grief is still present. Its different and mostly presents as guilt with waves of sadness.
I am so grateful and so in love with my rainbow Grayden (a namesake of Briden and Graycen) he makes me smile a ton and reminds me to put my phone down and enjoy his face. (So if my TAT is a bit longer I apologize!)
But I still terribly miss sweet Briden, and I wonder what kind of whirlwind of a mess I would be in right now if he were here.
Anyways, even though I stepped away for awhile and had a rainbow, I decided to comeback. many people say having a rainbow is “healing” but I get the most healing out of my grief journey by making Briden babies for bereaved parents! I love creating something so beautiful and meaningful for loss parents and I believe I am not done yet.
This is what I am supposed to be doing for my sweet Briden… this is his tiny footprint that is not too small. ❤️ And I’m not saying that losing Briden was “God’s plan” because I don’t believe God ever plans for us mothers to lose our precious babies, but I do believe that God saw what I needed to be learn to live with and accept my loss and took this terrible tragedy and turn it into a testimony. I needed something “good” to come from losing my sweet baby to continue to survive and I believe he paved the way and put me in a position to be able to help other loss parents.
Do not get me wrong. My relationship with God took a major hit when I lost Briden. And it is still a work in progress. I continued praying (at the time mostly for other loss mommas or mommas that were close to becoming loss mommas) and now being almost two year removed from my loss I’m starting to see the work that’s been done by God so that I can continue to survive and help other loss parents along the way do the same. ❤️
And I want to let you know if you are not there yet it’s ok. Keep surviving. You can always reach out if needed because my inbox is always open.