Surviving

Today I realized I am surviving.

Many days I feel as though I’m barely functioning.

I keep moving forward.

I recognize where I could do better, but in all honesty....

I’m surviving.

People don’t understand me.

They get glimpses of my life and make judgements.

I’ve survived storylines that changed my arc forever.

Storylines you only think about on tv, have happened to me.

But, I’m surviving.

Next time you glance my way and see a smile or hear my laugh

Know that inside I am constantly hurting from my past.

You see my past and sometimes I let you have a glimpse of the present,

My life isn’t something to just get through and move on,

As though my past is completely gone.

It’s something I have lived through and made me.

My past is my present but my present is all you see.

So, next time you cheer me on and are happy to see me thriving,

Know that...

...I am still surviving.

-Denesha Saul